I have heard it many times. From many people. Most are moms around my age. Most have two, three, or four children. We begin an innocent conversation. Then the question comes. The question I despise. The question that makes my skin crawl.
“Oh. You just have the one?”
Yes, I have one child. And please, don’t ask me why.
Why is none of your business.
My husband and I have made the decision to have one child. That may change. It may not.
Again. None of your business.
What bothers me most about this question is one little word.
A word that holds tremendous weight.
A word that lessens the value of myself, and my child.
Four letters that make my heart drop.
I don’t JUST have one child.
I have one child.
I have one daughter.
One amazing daughter.
One hilarious daughter.
One kind-hearted daughter.
One joyous daughter.
I have one daughter who fills my heart with so much love, my heart could explode. I have one daughter who completes our family. I have one daughter who has made our family “The Three Amigos.”
I have one daughter who is not “JUST” anything.
So, before you ask someone if they have “just” one child, consider the weight of your words. Consider the many reasons why couples choose to have one child. Consider why we measure our value as parents by the number of children we have.
Remove your judgement. Remove your opinon. Remove your assumptions.
Remove the JUST.