Little word. Big meaning.

I have heard it many times. From many people. Most are moms around my age. Most have two, three, or four children. We begin an innocent conversation. Then the question comes. The question I despise. The question that makes my skin crawl.

 “Oh. You just have the one?”

Yes, I have one child.  And please, don’t ask me why.

Why is none of your business.

My husband and I have made the decision to have one child. That may change. It may not.

 Again. None of your business.

What bothers me most about this question is one little word.

A word that holds tremendous weight.

A word that lessens the value of myself, and my child.

Four letters that make my heart drop.

JUST.

I don’t JUST have one child.

I have one child.

I have one daughter.

One amazing daughter.

One hilarious daughter.

One kind-hearted daughter.

One joyous daughter.

I have one daughter who fills my heart with so much love, my heart could explode. I have one daughter who completes our family. I have one daughter who has made our family “The Three Amigos.”

I have one daughter who is not “JUST” anything.

So, before you ask someone if they have “just” one child, consider the weight of your words. Consider the many reasons why couples choose to have one child. Consider why we measure our value as parents by the number of children we have.

Simply put…

Remove your judgement. Remove your opinon. Remove your assumptions.

Remove the JUST.

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The Three Amigos
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6 thoughts on “Little word. Big meaning.

  1. Great read and I totally agree. We don’t get the “just” one as we have two girls but we often get the “just” girls, so when are you trying for a boy.

    1. “Just” is such an unnecessary word! No matter how many kids we have, and what gender they are, we all love our kid(s)! Families come in all shapes, and sizes.
      Thank you so much for reading!!

  2. I love EVERYTHING about this. So very well said. It makes my blood boil when women make comments like this to each other. If anyone should “get it”, it should be other mothers!
    I hope you write many more pieces like this….I love having another bloggy friend☺️

    1. Thanks Vin! I hope that since I have the summer off, I will have more time to write (on topics not school related)!
      I always love reading your blogs too!! Takes me back to our time Creative Writing days!

  3. Alyce, you have made a very important observation! A few years ago I decided that I would rid my vocabulary of “just”. Your just a teacher, your just a mom,, etc. Every profession, job, and moment in life is important and precious! Thank you for speaking truth. I am an old friend of Nick’s. We grew up together. Thank you for being such a great wife and supporter of Nick and his career. He is able to do his job so well because of the love and support you give him!! ❤️

    1. Thank you Alicia! You are so right. By simply removing the “just” in our vocabulary, we acknowledge how important every moment is. And, thank you for your kind words about Nick and I! He is a wonderful husband, and father, and we are very blessed to be sharing our lives together!

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